


say it again

by Izzi456



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, a bit fluffy, different take, supergirl 2x08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2016-12-10
Packaged: 2018-09-07 16:51:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8808511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Izzi456/pseuds/Izzi456
Summary: An alternate take on the events that transpired in 2x08 in which Maggie, hopped up on painkillers, admits that she likes Alex and wants to be with her. The problem, however, is that Maggie doesn't remember what she said the next morning, and Alex doesn't know what to do......





	

**Author's Note:**

> a quick note -- I don't have any medical experience whatsoever, so this is probably not accurate at all (in terms of Maggie being drugged up and all that stuff) so just ignore the medical inaccuracies and enjoy :)

“So,” Alex said, her mouth scrunching up slightly, “thank you.”

She turned back to the table with various medical tools on it, even though she did want to keep looking at Maggie.

“Anytime,” Maggie said softly, and it took all of Alex’s self-control not to turn her head back to her, to see if she was looking at her. Alex instead busied herself with cleaning and straightening out the medical tools on the table.

She hadn’t known she had been wanting to tell Maggie that she finally realized that it wasn’t all about her, and she couldn’t help it when it all of it just kind of spilled out of her mouth. Alex did want to make sure that Maggie knew that she wasn’t trying to push all of this on her, even though she inadvertently had. Maggie wasn’t responsible for the mess Alex went through when she realized she was gay, and Maggie shouldn’t have had to shoulder all of it. 

Alex wasn’t about to let Maggie go home, not yet, but she didn’t want to leave her lying there in the middle of the medical center alone. There was a man on the computer in the corner, so they weren’t exactly alone, but still.

Alex had, by now, pretty much been able to accept the fact that Maggie was not looking to be with her. What Alex wasn’t sure of, however, was when, or if, she would be able to move on.

“Are you two okay in here?” The man at the computer asked, breaking the silence, causing Alex to almost jump. He was starting to gather up his things and looked like he was going to leave. So it would be just the two of them. _Great,_ Alex thought, _just play it cool._

“We’re fine,” Maggie said, a little slur in her words.

Alex turned slowly and nodded at the man, who was now looking at her. Alex assumed he didn’t trust the drugged-up patient who looked to be getting sleepier every moment, and she didn’t blame him.

“You can go. I’ll take care of her,” Alex affirmed.

“Okay, but don’t let her go home, Agent Danvers,” he said. Alex was about to roll her eyes, because obviously she wasn’t, not when she was like this.

“I know,” Alex settled on saying.

“Yeah, she knows,” Maggie murmured, laughing just a little bit and giving Alex a face, “She’s a doctor, m-my doctor.” She paused a second, confused that she couldn’t get the “m” out on the first try. Both Alex and the man just looked at her, and Alex couldn’t help a small smile as Maggie’s eyebrows furrowed and she asked, “Wait, are you actually a doctor, Danvers?”

“Kind of.”

“Kind of? I let you s-sew me up and you’re only ‘kind of’ a doctor?” Maggie’s face was unintentionally making every word that came out of her mouth more dramatic than it needed to be, and Alex was having a hard time trying not to laugh at her. The man got up, shaking his head in amusement, and headed out the door. Alex sat down on a rolling stool next to Maggie’s bed.

She knew that the pain medication was starting to kick in, hard, and it was only a matter of time before Maggie really didn’t know what she was saying. Eventually, she would fall asleep, but for now…

“I’m going to call you Doctor Danvers,” Maggie stated firmly, smiling. “Yeah. Doctor Danvers sounds nice. It’s like that…whaddya call it…allit…alteration?”

Alex bit her lip, turning the stool around to face her medical supplies so Maggie wouldn’t see her trying not to laugh. “Alliteration?”

 _"That’s_ it! See, you’re so smart, Danvers,” Maggie said, her head falling back onto her pillow.

Alex took a deep breath. It was amusing, fun even, seeing her like this. But Alex did feel kind of bad about how embarrassed she’d be if she remembered saying these things to Alex.

“Thank you. Now, you’re going to fall asleep in a couple minutes, Maggie, and I’ll make sure you’re –“

“You’re kinda scary, too,” Maggie whispered, completely ignoring her.

Alex turned her head back to look at Maggie again. Maggie was looking down, her eyes focusing on the thin medical sheet placed over her body. Then she whipped her head back up a little too quickly and shut her eyes, leaning her head back on the pillow. Alex just watched as she slowly opened her eyes, gaining a sense of her surroundings again.

“I’m scary?” Alex asked, sure that the humor was gone from the situation, but unsure of where painkiller-induced Maggie was going with this.

“Yeah, it’s like…you scare me.”

Alex scared her? What had she done?

“What do you mean?” Alex was pretty sure she wasn’t going to get anything coherent out of Maggie right now, but she could try.

“You like me. A lot.” Maggie paused, focusing intently on Alex.

Alex licked her lips. “I did, yeah,” she lied.

Maggie shook her head, “No, no…you _do_ Alex, you do. You did and you do.” Maggie giggled a little bit, repeating “you do” softly to herself as if it was really fun to say. Then she turned serious again. “You still do.”

“I told you, I’m fine with being friends, Maggie. It’s no big deal. You shouldn’t be scared that I like – that I _liked --_ you,” Alex said, trying to convince Maggie and herself that it was supposed to be past tense. “I think we better have this conversation later, okay?” Alex said, starting to go back to cleaning up.

“But…no. I uh…” Maggie slurred, scrunching up her face like she was trying to think of the right words to say. “It’s scary because I think I really like you. Too.”

Alex stopped what she was doing, again, and could feel her heart start to pound in her ears. She had to remind herself, and quickly, that Maggie wasn’t in her right state of mind.

“Maggie—"

“I think I do, though. Like a lot, you know? I think wanna be with you. You know, like,” Maggie lifted her left arm a bit and clenched her fingers into a fist tightly, “together.” Then an adorable, droopy smile appeared on her face and Alex almost melted.

Maggie thought she liked Alex like Alex liked her? She wanted to be with her? But that didn’t make sense.

Alex’s mind was going a mile a minute. Maggie didn’t know what she was saying. She was saying this because she was basically high. She didn’t actually want to be with her, Alex kept repeating to herself, she couldn’t. Maggie wanted to be just friends, god knows she’d told her that enough times. Alex’s heart was begging her to keep listening, to keep letting Maggie talk, but her brain was being logical. Alex couldn’t let Maggie continue on, or it was just going to make her heart break even more. As good as Alex felt hearing those words come out of Maggie’s mouth, knowing that Maggie was saying all of this and not actually meaning a word of it was going to make Alex even more depressed later.

And so she decided to ignore the heart that was slamming against her chest.

“You have no idea what you’re saying to me right now, Maggie,” Alex said with an exasperated laugh. “You’re hopped up on drugs and you need to go to sleep.”

Maggie’s mouth opened but nothing came out. She seemed to be contemplating what Alex was saying, and having trouble keeping her eyes open.

“You’re not going to remember any of this, Maggie. Please, just…go to sleep,” Alex said, sighing. 

A tiny, miniscule part of Alex’s brain reminded her that sometimes when people were not in their right state of mind, they tended to say what they really felt. But Alex shook her head at her own thoughts, willing herself not to start believing that. Maggie was loopy, they were alone, and she had almost died.

If a laser to the shoulder counted as almost dying.

Alex had certainly felt that Maggie had almost died. When Kara had called her saying that Maggie had gotten injured, but reassured her that she was fine, panic still found a way in. Alex wished she had been able to stop the laser from hitting Maggie, but she hadn’t. Instead, she rushed to her sister as Kara carried Maggie into the DEO and ignored everything and everyone until she made sure that Maggie was indeed okay. Maybe if Maggie remembered this – what she was saying to her right now – maybe Alex would get to hear what was actually, truly going on in Maggie’s mind. If Maggie remembered this, she would either want to apologize or, Alex let herself hope for a brief second, confirm that she did in fact know what she was saying right now.

“Alex…” Maggie said, and then trailed off, her eyelids drooping.

“Yeah?” Alex said, rubbing her arm softly, trying to get her drift off.

Maggie closed her eyes and Alex couldn’t help herself as she brushed some of Maggie’s hair away from her face. She was about to take her hand away but Maggie leaned into it slightly, allowing Alex to cup her cheek. Alex sucked in a breath, knowing she should move her hand but not wanting to, not even for a second. She allowed herself to keep her hand there for three seconds before she put it back in her lap. And Maggie’s head, with nothing to hold it, fell a little more onto the space where Alex’s hand had just been.

After a couple of seconds, Maggie’s eyes were still closed, but she did open her mouth slightly once more. “I’m…sorry,” she whispered, and then closed her mouth one last time, finally asleep.

Alex wasn’t exactly sure what she was saying sorry for, but she couldn’t think about that right now. She kept looking at Maggie’s face, noticing how soft it looked when she was sleeping, wishing she could see that face every night. Alex licked her lips and finally got up, washing the last of the medical tools. Then, she looked between the door, Maggie, and the semi-comfortable-looking chair that the computer guy had been sitting in.

There was one thing Alex was sure of right now, and that was that she didn’t want to leave Maggie alone in here.

So, she walked over and pulled the chair by the computer over to Maggie’s bedside and slumped down into it. Then, she curled her legs up onto the chair and shifted into the most comfortable position she could manage, resting her hand on her chin. She allowed herself to look at Maggie for a few more seconds, silently prayed that she wouldn’t get an ache in her neck from sleeping like this, and closed her eyes.

\---------------------

\---------------------

“Psst, Danvers,” a soft voice said. Something was poking Alex’s arm. Was Kara here? In her apartment? Had she invited Kara to sleep over? Kara didn’t call her Danvers…

“Danvers,” the voice said again, louder this time. Alex’s eyes snapped open and she almost jumped out of the chair she had apparently been sleeping in when she felt a hand on her knee.

Alex slowly realized where she was: at the DEO, with Maggie. Because Maggie had gotten hit by a laser. And Alex had slept here. In this chair. And Maggie was dressed? And standing up? Alex closed her eyes again and groaned as she felt the stiffness in her neck that confirmed it. She leaned back in the chair, feeling the absence of Maggie’s hand as it left her knee.

Then she opened her eyes and saw Maggie staring at her, “Good morning, sleeping beauty,” she said, tilting her head, a smirk on her face. Alex couldn’t understand how Maggie could look so beautiful after getting shot at and spending the night in a hospital bed. 

“You aren’t supposed to be up,” Alex said, standing up as well, trying to figure out how she was going to get Maggie back in the bed and simultaneously combing her fingers through her hair.

“I’m fine, Alex. Actually, I have to go to work so there’s no way you’re getting me back in that bed,” she said, putting her left hand in her jeans pocket casually. Her right arm wasn’t moving much, so Alex knew that it still hurt her enough to pretend like it didn’t.

But she also knew that Maggie probably wasn’t going to let her get her back in the bed.

“Well, fine, but you can’t go to work like this.”

“I told you, I’m—“

“Maggie,” Alex said, her voice stern. She crossed her arms and Maggie would’ve mirrored her, but, as she reminded her, “You can’t even lift your arm.”

Maggie paused for a second, thinking, and then tried, “Alright, I won’t shoot any guns, but I can do paperwork.”

Alex scoffed, “Yeah, last time I checked, you weren’t left handed.” Alex had watched Maggie sign paperwork for the NCPD several times with her right hand, and she knew she had her cornered.

Maggie pursed her lips, knowing she wasn’t going to win this one. “Fine. I’ll go home.”

“Good, thank you.”

Maggie just rolled her eyes playfully and grabbed her jacket off the hospital bed. “I guess I’ll see you later, Danvers?”

Alex nodded. “We could go play pool tonight but I’m afraid you’d suck more with one arm than you already do with two so…”

Maggie laid her jacket over her arm, smirking. “Ha ha, funny.”

“Please get some rest, Maggie.” Alex followed her halfway to the door and Maggie turned around when she reached the door frame.

“I’ll try,” she said, giving Alex a little two-finger salute with her left hand. Then she turned around and started to walk out of the DEO. Alex was watching her, leaning against the door frame, when Maggie stopped and turned around. “Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“Did I um…say anything to you while I was, you know, on drugs?”

Alex willed her face not to give anything away. Her eyes widened a bit but she tried to play it cool. She had fooled a lie detector once, but knew that she wasn’t very good at lying when it came to Maggie, as her mother had pointed out.

“Uh…” she pouted her lips and looked up, feigning that she was thinking about it, “No. Nope.” Lie. She could feel herself getting fidgety so she said, “You were halfway out of it so…” True. “You did call me Doctor Danvers though.” Also true.

Maggie smirked and there was a slight flush to her cheeks. “Really? Damn, that’s embarrassing. Is that it?”

Alex bit her cheek, “Yeah.” So she definitely didn’t remember anything. Alex wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

Maggie laughed to herself, “Well, that’s good. See you later, Doctor Danvers.” She winked and Alex couldn’t help a smile.

“Yeah, see you.” Alex said mostly to herself. She took a deep breath and willed herself to calm down.

She didn’t remember.

Alex could feel her heart drop and her eyes start to sting, but then she took a deep breath and told herself to pull it together. It wasn’t even something Alex could think about right now -- she was hungry, and had work to do. Maybe she’d talk to Kara about it later, ask her what to do. It was right that she hadn’t said anything about it, right? Maggie obviously hadn’t meant it, or else she would’ve remembered and said something.

Alex sighed and went to the locker room to get ready for the day, shifting her brain into work-mode, drowning out all the whispers of “talk to her about it,” floating in her brain.

\---------------------

\---------------------

Maggie was here. At her doorstep. With pizza. And that damn leather jacket Alex thought looked too good on her.

Alex invited her in, tried and failed to ignore the flutter in her chest when Maggie called her pajamas cute, and put the pizza down on the counter. She opened the box, giving it one quick look -- her favorite pizza. 

It had only been a couple of days since Maggie had gotten her arm hurt, and Alex had been trying to figure out what to do with the information Maggie had dumped on her while on painkillers. Ultimately, she had decided that if Maggie ever felt the way she said she had, then she’d tell Alex, eventually. Alex would just have to wait to see when, or even if, that would ever happen.

“I really needed to see you and…talk to you.” She looked nervous. Maggie didn’t look nervous often.

“Is everything okay?” She asked Maggie, who didn’t exactly look okay. She was about to ask Maggie if her arm was feeling better, but then Maggie started talking again.

“Well, here’s the thing…I almost died.”

Alex scoffed, “Uh yeah, no, I would not have let that happen.”

“Wait, I know that, but um…” Maggie let a hand run through her hair and Alex busied herself with opening the beer bottles, trying to figure out what was going on. Probably nothing, Alex told herself. 

Maggie started to pace. “It got me thinking that I….I was so stupid, I thought -- and I guess I was kind of right -- that you came out for me.”

Okay, something was happening. Alex whipped her head towards Maggie, not bothering with the beer bottles anymore. Something was definitely happening.

“And…that scared me.”

_"You scare me."_

Alex was barely able to form coherent thoughts. This was how her last speech had started. It was happening, right now. Again. Alex’s thundering heartbeat made its way up to her ears, and she could barely hear what Maggie was saying. But she quickly drowned out everything and hung onto every word coming out of Maggie’s mouth.

Maggie turned away from her again, “But um…” And Alex thought she had never heard Maggie sound more scared since she’d met her. Alex wanted to say something, but kept her mouth shut, letting Maggie get this out. She noticed how much Maggie was not willing to look her in the eye. 

Maggie finally turned back to Alex, her voice actually shaking as she let out a breath.

“But life is too short. And…we should be who we are.”

Alex just nodded, not trusting herself to say anything, but then again, she didn’t want to say anything at all. This wasn’t exactly how the last speech had gone, but it was pretty damn close.

“And we should kiss the girls that we wanna kiss.”

_"I think I really like you."_

Okay, that could mean anyone. But maybe, and it sounded like this was a strong possibility, that she meant Alex? Alex hoped to god she meant Alex. Maggie was looking at her with the face Alex usually reserved for Maggie, and for Maggie alone. Maggie’s eyes were searching her face, as if she was wondering what Alex was thinking. _Let her finish, Alex,_ Alex told herself, _don’t say a damn word._

And after what seemed like an eternity, Maggie started to say softly, “And I really just…” and a smile started to form on her face as if she couldn’t hold it in any longer, “I… I wanna kiss _you."_

Before Alex knew or could comprehend what was happening, Maggie had grabbed her jaw with both hands and pulled her face down so their lips met.

Holy _shit._

Maggie was kissing her. _Her._

Alex could feel herself subconsciously sink into the kiss and kiss Maggie back as she tried to wrap her head around what the hell was going on. Alex gripped Maggie’s bicep and she could feel Maggie’s soft hands on her neck, and her finger stroking her cheek. 

Even though Maggie had basically already given this speech to her while she half conscious, Alex felt like this was the first time she had said it. And maybe that was because Alex had let herself believe that Maggie hadn’t meant it that first time. But now, if the taste of Maggie’s lips meant anything, Alex knew she had.

And all Alex could think was that this felt _right,_ and that this was what she had been missing out on all this time.

This, _kissing Maggie,_ was too much, and yet it was everything and not enough.

But there was one thought that still pushed and prodded at her, and she reluctantly willed herself to stop kissing Maggie. The shorter woman pulled back with one last kiss and looked a little worried.

Alex was dazed, but managed to get out, “So you’re saying you like me.” She pulled her hands towards her but smiled and let out a finger to point between her and Maggie, “That’s…that’s what I got from that.” She cradled her hands together at her chest.

Maggie laughed and Alex thought she had never heard a more beautiful sound. “Of course. You’re not going to crazy on me, are you?”

_Of course._

_Of course, of course, of course._

Those two words were like a never-ending echo in her head.

Alex couldn’t help but smile and wondering if she had a dopey look on her face. Maggie certainly did. “Probably, yeah.”

Maggie smirked and nodded and all Alex thought about was how she had brushed Maggie’s hair back at the DEO and had immediately felt wrong about it, like it was too intimate of an act to have done. But she could do that now, right? Maggie liked her, _of course,_ and she had _kissed her._ It wouldn’t be weird now, right?

And she decided to just do it, because Maggie had beautiful hair, she wanted to, and she could. Soft and slow, she let her fingers run through Maggie’s hair, and Maggie looked back up at her again. Alex thought she could get lost in her eyes, and her hands had barely left Maggie’s face when she realized she could also kiss her, again, because she was allowed to do that now, and so she didn’t wait another second. 

Alex could feel Maggie’s hand on her elbow and she leaned back against the countertop, pulling Maggie towards her slightly. In the past, Alex had always wondered if people got tired of kissing, and now she was silently laughing at herself. _This,_ she thought, _this is what it’s supposed to feel like when someone was kissing you and you wanted to kiss them back._

And then, as much as she didn’t want to, again, she felt herself pulling away from Maggie to fit what she thought was the last piece that didn’t quite want to complete the puzzle. Alex knew she would have some explaining to do, but she had to ask anyway.

“So, you’re sure you don’t just _think_ you like me, right? You really like me, and…want to be with me?”

Maggie slowly opened her eyes and looked confused. “Danvers, I just told you I did.” The right side of her mouth quirked up and she ran a finger down Alex’s arm. “And I also kissed you. Why are you…asking me this?”

Alex bit her cheek, “Well…”

_"I think I really like you."  
"I think I want to be with you." _

As much as Alex willed those statements to disappear from her mind, she couldn’t. “I may have…lied to you.”

Maggie leaned back a little bit, crossing her arms as best she could, and furrowed her eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“Well,” she said, averting her eyes from Maggie’s intense gaze, “at the DEO, after you got shot and we put you on drugs…”

“Yeah?”

“You did…say something to me. You said…multiple things.”

“Besides calling you Doctor Danvers?” Alex nodded. Maggie swallowed, “What else did I say?”

Alex took a deep breath and rubbed her fingers together. “That speech you just gave me about being scared and wanting to kiss me? Well, you kind of gave me that speech. Already.” Alex couldn’t help her face as it scrunched up, waiting for Maggie to say something.

“I did?” Maggie said softly, and Alex finally looked at her again. She didn’t seem mad, at least. Just confused.

“Yeah. You said that I scared you and that you _thought_ you liked me and you _thought_ you wanted to be with me.”

“Really.”

“And that you wanted to be, you know,” Alex lifted her arm and clenched her fist, mimicking drugged-up Maggie’s gesture from that day, “together.”

Maggie looked at her fist curiously and looked like she was trying not to smile, “What’s that supposed to be?”

Alex laughed a little bit, “I think you wanted to lift both your arms and put your hands together but you couldn’t so you just…” she clenched her fist again.

Now Maggie smiled, and let out a little laugh. She shook her head. “So…you let me go through all that and make that whole speech again?”

“Well…it wasn’t going exactly how it went the first time so I wasn’t sure if…Yeah, I did.” Alex bit her lip. “But, plus, I wanted to hear you say it again because you didn’t sound too sure when you were drugged up, so I just want to make sure--” Alex knew she was babbling, and luckily Maggie stopped her.

She took Alex’s fist in her hand and unraveled her fingers, instead intertwining them with hers. Then she took Alex’s other hand and did the same. 

Then, Maggie shook her head a little bit, clearing her hair out of her face, and looked Alex in the eye. “Alex, I want you to listen to me very carefully.” She didn’t break her gaze on Alex.

“Okay.”

With a smile on her face that didn’t exactly match her firm tone, Maggie said, “I am absolutely, completely sure that I like you, that I _really_ like you, and want to be with you.” She paused, squeezing Alex’s hands gently in her own. “Got that?”

“Yeah,” Alex said, smiling and nodding. She started to lean in but Maggie leaned back.

“I’m not done,” Maggie said, a smirk on her face.

Alex closed her mouth.

The smirk disappeared. “I also wanted to say that…I’m really sorry.”

_“Alex?”_  
_“Yeah?”_  
_“I’m…sorry.”_

And in that moment Alex realized what the actual missing piece of the puzzle was. It was this, the apology that hadn’t been finished because Maggie had fallen asleep. 

“For what?” Alex asked, her voice quiet.

“For…breaking your heart. For turning you down that night, in the bar, when you were so nervous and excited and, you know, fresh off the boat. And I promise, I promise,” she said, taking a deep breath, “that I’m going to try so damn hard not do that again. Because I never want to see that look on your face ever again and know that I caused it.” Finally, Maggie took her eyes off of Alex and looked down at the ground.

Alex took a deep breath. Maggie was still thinking about that night. Maggie, sweet Maggie, felt horrible about turning Alex down, even though Alex knew now and completely understood why she had done it. It wouldn’t have worked out; she got that. But they were in different places now, and this was going to work. It had to. Alex didn’t want to even imagine a possibility where it wouldn’t.

“Well…” Alex said, and Maggie looked up at her again. “I hate to break it to you, but…I’m not going to let you get away that easy again.”

The forlorn expression on Maggie’s face shifted into a smile, and then she laughed, almost relieved. Alex made a promise to herself right then and there to try and make Maggie laugh as much as possible.

“Also, I have another question.”

“You and your questions…” Maggie shook her head at her, amused. “Whatever it is, the answer is probably yes.”

Alex bit her lip and smirked. She decided to ask Maggie the question later, instead opting to say, “Oh well, good, ‘cause I was going to ask you if I was a better pool player than you but it’s good to know you already think so.”

Maggie rolled her eyes and lightly punched Alex in the arm, “Oh, my god, Alex, you’re such a dork.” She leaned forward and gave Alex a kiss that was over way too quickly and then stepped around her to open the pizza box. “We gotta start eating the pizza before it gets cold.”

Alex was more than willing to let the pizza and beer go cold, but she also knew that Maggie was probably hungry.

“Okay.”

And later, when they had settled in on the couch watching some movie Maggie swore was something Alex _had_ to watch, Alex was shifting her focus between it, their intertwined hands, and Maggie’s head resting on her shoulder.

Maggie turned her head against Alex’s shoulder halfway through the movie and saw Alex looking at her. “What?” She whispered. Alex could see Maggie beginning to get more tired, and the toothless smile on her face that made a single dimple appear was something Alex thought she could definitely get used to.

Alex pursed her lips, shaking her head, “Nothing.” She turned her attention back to the movie, a small smile on her face.

It was nothing, she thought, and yet it was....to put it simply, everything.


End file.
